Inviting feelings into the conversation

Collage of abstract(ish) images. For credits see this post.

We work together better when we trust each other, relaxing our guard and being more honest about what's getting in the way and what's energising us. Letting people know that they are welcome however they feel - the good, the bad and the meh - is a powerful way to get there faster. Here are three ways of inviting people to bring their feelings to the conversation.

Blob Tree

You may have come across the blob tree, or variations of it. Created by Ian Long and Pip Wilson, these 'everyperson' blobs express feelings through expressions, body language and actions. In some recent online sessions, which were set up to give people from minoritised groups a chance to comment on a draft organisational strategy, we used a classic blob tree image during the introductions. We invited people to say their name and their connection to the organisation, and then to say which blob was closest to how they felt, coming to the session. It was an opportunity for people to say that they felt 'isolated' or 'outside' or 'on the edge', or that they were 'helping others up', or 'enjoying swinging on a rope, but not sure if I can hang on'.

We weren't sure how well it would work, but everyone took to it and no-one declined to join in. The feedback we had on the sessions was positive about how we had created a good atmosphere for people to talk about hard things.

When setting up the session, we included the image in the pre-session information, in case anyone was joining on a phone and wouldn't be able to see it well during the session. We also had it on a slide which we showed during the introductions round.

You can buy blob tree images here.

Choose an image

In the room, I love to use postcards (or even toy animals, or a selection of random objects). Online, a collage of images can play the same role. Give people a moment to choose the image which they feel drawn to (or which expresses how they are feeling today, or says something the energy they are bringing - you get to decide the exact question), and then to share it with the group and say why.

In a virtual coaching supervision set run by Michelle Lucas, she has cleverly combined the online with the concrete, by sending everyone a set of image cards in the post AND having a collage of the images on a slide.

State it

A facilitator I worked with recently invested quite a long time welcoming the group - aims, agenda, ground rules, introductions. When this had been done, she said welcome again, making explicit the welcome of 'all kinds of difference' to the conversation, including race and ethnicity, sexuality and gender identity, ability and disability, caring responsibilities, places in the organisational hierarchy or geography, whatever people have going on at work or outside of it, however they are feeling about being at this session. Thanks Shilpa for showing me how to do this.

At the non-religious church local to me, people are welcomed 'whether you bring your best self or your struggling self, whatever joys and sorrows are in your heart'. The welcome continues '...whoever you are, you are not alone. You are welcome here.’

Making the Path by Walking

What's your experience of inviting in feelings, or of being invited to share your feelings? Let me know!

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